Attraversiamo

As I have stated on my blog recently, I am taking a break from social work and nannying in this season.

A lot of people ask me when I am going back into social work, or how long I am going to nanny, or what I am going to do next. A lot of times, when I am asked, I can hear the disappointment and confusion in their voices. Of why someone would choose to quit a career to nanny, which is a huge pay cut and isn’t a “professional” choice. It isn’t moving up a social ladder, which is a foreign concept to a lot of people, esp. Americans.

I quit for self-care. I quit because I was stressed and angry and tired, and, as I told HR when I was putting in my resignation, because I was “no longer acting like myself.”

I don’t know what I am going to do next, but I know some of the things that I told myself I would do while I was on my break.

One of those things is to create and paint, and to sell what I have been working on. This is in progress, and last time I was home a couple of weeks ago, I formulated a tangible plan with a friend to make it happen and gave myself  a time frame.

Another was to learn to be content with where I was. This is something that is slowly getting easier, but as of late when someone asks me what I am going to do next, anxiety creeps up again and I feel this guilt at not doing something “professional” or “career-building” because someone else thinks I should, and I realize I am not quite there yet.

Another thing was to hang out with healthy family’s and around healthy marriages, and that is something I think I have excelled at. I have been hanging out with my friends with children and who are happy in their marriages or who are good parents, and I am learning what it looks like to believe in a healthy family again. I had lost a lot of that in the field. I had lost a lot of what beauty humanity holds. I caught glimpses in some of the families that I served, certainly, but I needed to be immersed in it.

So I am working on being content with where I am now. In being grateful for what I have. I am learning to be poor financially again while enjoying being rich in sound mind  for the first time in a long time.

So no, I do not know what I will do next. I do not know where I will attraversiamo or with whom I will cross over, if anyone. And I am perfectly okay with that. And honestly, it is my opinion that matters to me right now. It is between me and the Lord, and in that I think is wisdom, and that is what I am going to listen to. So thank you for your concern if you are one who thinks it is time I ‘move on’, but I choose my own voice over yours- and I’ve gotta say, I am pretty damn happy about it.